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The Ninth Melody

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Ninten (of EarthBound Zero) and I, comforting a crying cat whilst being surrounded in cats.
This has a pretty odd story behind it (it's about why I made it).
Please read it, if you're an EarthBound fan, I promise it's interesting.

This is probably the most rushed piece of work I've ever done, and it shows so much. I was proud of it for, like, two minutes and now I'm just like "ew, it looks awful." Like, oh my gosh, those cats look like vomit. I had to rush it because I only had two days to work on it (and worked on it nonstop for, like, eight hours each day) to get it done in time as a school project. But, it's really the sentimental value behind it that matters. Let me explain...
A few years ago, some very unfortunate event occurred that left me traumatized. I was so deeply upset, it brought back the suicidal thoughts I had back in high school. I questioned the value of my life, am I really worth anything? What use do I have? What's the matter with me? Why aren't I normal? What exactly about that event was so awful? Well, every second of it, but I'm so torn as to why. Common belief dictates it was relatively tame aside from some minor details; what even happened that day? I dreaded the sight of my windows, praying they'd stay locked, terrified a certain someone would come for me... After a couple of years, I thought I had gotten over it. I would soon discover that I had just swept it under the rug.
Bored on the internet, I recalled one of my ex boyfriends from many years ago telling me he liked this video game called EarthBound. I decided to search it on Youtube out of curiosity. One of the first results was a "Video Game Urban Legends" video, and being a big fan of that kinda stuff, it was the first video I clicked. A few minutes in, I saw something that immediately left me infatuated with the EarthBound series. Giygas, the final boss of the game. Its red screaming face looking like blood smeared on black satin while the most grotesque noise made my hair stand on end. It jittered violently, as though it was experiencing some sort of twisted seizure. I thought it was amazing and looked into it further.
The more I learned about it, the more it began to creep me out. The urban legends behind it, its shape like that of a fetus, the origin of its design, it all filled me with this peculiar emotion that I couldn't quite grasp. The creator of the series and designer of Giygas, Shigesato Itoi, explained that he based it off a traumatic experience he had as a child where he accidentally witnessed a murder scene in an adult movie after having gotten lost in a movie theater. He went on to explain that he was left so distraught that his parents worried for his sanity. Its design is the embodiment of that feeling, that fear, that uncertainty and pain. It is the manifestation of evil, rape, murder, and everything cruel in the world.
I was left absolutely mortified. Yes, by some silly, pixely thing in a video game. I really lost my marbles (and still haven't managed to pick them all back up). I wasn't able to sleep anymore. The night would fall, and I'd turn on all the lights, close the blinds to block-out the darkness, and constantly look over my shoulder and cringe at the sight of every shadow (I'm not even exaggerating, it was probably the lowest moment of my life. I actually pulled an all-nighter playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl for eleven straight hours because if I stopped, I got scared). No one shared these feelings, I felt so alone. This strange fear that I felt was not an enjoyable fear, like seeing a scary movie or riding a roller coaster. It was deep, in my blood, and I couldn't seem to get it to go away. It was like I was cast under a spell. It was so intense and so awful, I began to think death was the only way to part from the pain.
After some deep analyzation, I began to associate that feeling with my trauma. Giygas became to me the perfect artistic rendition of the feeling I felt those years ago, that trauma I buried in my mind. Giygas brought it all back to me, the way its mouth is twisted in a scream that echos into eternity, the way it utters quotes Itoi recalls from his traumatic experience... I recall so much screaming that day, but no one came to help me. He didn't stop, I didn't even help myself. Nothing helped me except screaming, the vibrating in my throat was the only thing that dulled the agony I was in. There. Was. So. Much. Screaming. Giygas took that unpleasant experience I had out from under the rug and smothered its rotting, moldy aroma back into my face. I realized I really was not over what happened to me at all, in fact, it changed me forever. Giygas made me realize I'd never be the same person I was before that event.
But, one day my brother told me there was a game from the same series that predated EarthBound that never saw the light of day outside of Japan. It was referred to as "EarthBound Zero" here in the states, and an unreleased American prototype existed on the internet via emulator. I decided to download an emulator, obtain the game and play it myself. Although I dreaded the day I'd ever play EarthBound, I couldn't help my affinity for it and wanted to play it so badly. I thought I may as well try the first installment first, since it was the logical choice. I had really become accustomed to Ness, the primary protagonist in EarthBound, who I originally hated as a child (knowing him from the original Super Smash Bros. on the N64) but now loved because he defeats Giygas in EarthBound, and was a bit disappointed when I found out that you play as some other character that just looks like Ness, Ninten, in the first game. I decided "whatever!" and went into the game blindly. Although I was spooked here and there as eerie things occurred, things that anyone else wouldn't think twice about but bothered me deeply with the thoughts of Giygas, I fought my way through the game. I began to get to know Ninten better, learning about his little quirks, like how he can't use offensive PSI, or how he has asthma. As a sort of "lung enthusiast", I found this rather fascinating, but was really surprised that his asthma actually becomes relevant within the game, and wasn't just some blown-over detail. Ninten showed me that there was a lot more to these games than just the cute characters and the red, twisted Giygas. There was so much more, and all these other details began to really overshadow what was so eerie about it.
I decided to look-up the soundtrack to the game and came across the song "Pollyanna (I Believe in You)", which in-game plays in the over-world whenever Ninten is alone. On the soundtrack, "Pollyanna" is given lyrics and is sung by Catherine Warwick. I came to interpret the songs on the soundtrack sung by her as Ninten's voice (Yes, that means I interpret Ninten has having the voice of a grown woman, apparently. Heheh), and can't quite hear it any other way. Ninten sings about believing in pots of gold at the ends of rainbows, fairy tales, and silver linings. This song really touched my heart and became my sort of anthem, and I ritualistically listen to it every single night before I go to bed. Ninten says he believes in these things, but he doesn't believe in them in a literal sense. He doesn't really think there's a tangible pot of gold at the end of every rainbow. He believes in the potential of these things, and believing that things like fairy tales can teach us and inspire us to be the best we can be. How do you believe in "songs"? How do you believe in "roses kissed with dew"? By believing in what they make us feel, and in their potential to comfort us in our time of need. Ninten sees the value of that which is fictional, of make-believe. By the end of his game, he learns a series of musical measures called "The Eight Melodies" and takes down (a far less creepy version of) Giygas. It sounds so silly, the way just singing a lullaby defeats your enemy. I thought it was kinda stupid at first, but then I really began to think about it and realized it's a rather literal metaphor. It’s awesome the way something so horrific and evil, the same entity that caused so much pain in the world, can be taken down by something as simple as a song. It’s very empowering and it makes you feel wonderful. Like, you’re so strong, you can over-come anything. You just have to have the bravery to step-up. The song really isn't so simple, it's the composition of love, the sound of what it feels like to love, to fall in love, to be in love, to share platonic love, to receive it, to give it... And, I finally understood what it means to believe in a "song".
Ninten showed me that there's still so much left to smile about in the world despite what happened to me. As hard times arose while playing the game, his friends passed-out from the stress of battle, or just down-right died, it reminded me of the feeling my friends and family would feel if I were ever gone. If I gave-up, if I committed suicide, what would happen? I'd cause a lot of pain for all the people I love. I decided I fear pain, not my own pain, but the pain of the people I love. That's why I made this promise not to give up, for the sake of the people that love me. A cross-your-heart promise in which Ninten always pops up in my head and reminds me of whenever I feel hopeless. He just keeps right on smiling, and I'm gonna keep right on smiling too.
Although, I admit the sight of Giygas still makes me feel uncomfortable and I'll never look at it intentionally, and I also admit that I still recall that unfortunate event that I keep leaving vague, I can say I've come a long way. I've only played EarthBound Zero so far and have yet to play any other EarthBound games yet (so I still have yet to face my fear), but recalling the joys of my adventure with Ninten and friends, I really can't wait to play the other games in the series.

Anyway, if you read all that, thank you.
That was to explain why Ninten is so comforting to me.
The idea for this picture came to me when I was lying on my bed beside my cat and my doll of Ninten. They're the two things that make me the happiest in life, so I decided to put them together in a picture and try to capture that happiness. The eight cats surrounding us represent "The Eight Melodies", and the cat in the middle we're holding is what I refer to as "The Ninth Melody", and symbolizes all the feelings I can't really put into words. She has a binder clip on her ear which represents the traumatic thing that happened to me years ago, and although it ails me, it is but an insignificant detail that may have left a scar, but is buried by all the things that make me happy and cope with what happened.
On a more technical side, this is all done in charcoal. Ninten's design was totally conceptual and I didn't use a reference for anything in this picture. Well, I used references for some ideas for angles for the cats, as well as the structure of my face, but over-all I wanted it to be cartoony (so our heads are big and our arms are short, just like EarthBound characters).
I rushed so much to get this done, I did the two of us in one sitting and all the cats in one sitting. I got a horrific sinus infection during it that gave me terrible headaches and made it very hard to work on it. But, I was motivated to get it done. The sinus infection ended up making me deaf in one ear, although my hearing recovered after about a month. It was awful.

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Ninten (c) Shigesato Itoi / Nintendo
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© 2014 - 2024 Feathery-Wings
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Goody-Two-Face's avatar

As for the traumatic entity, oh yeah, BEEN there . Some creatures just touch a NERVE & keep haunting you... Delving deeper into their "lore / origins" is just right, the better to understand it all & WHAT's been troubling you so ! It helped me a lot to understand just what's been so disturbing & straighten things out . Just embrace your feelings (& sometimes get to know a whole new world !). Proud of you... Stay safe & healthy, Excelsior !